A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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