i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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