her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
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just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
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You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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