hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
All the doctor said was why
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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