I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So much Jack, so little girl.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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