I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Edward fifth and chaser hands
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I smell like Dick and happiness
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
