she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
