he told me I talked like a deaf person
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
