she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
