how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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