i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so let's talk penis.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
