I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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