She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
