hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
