This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
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things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
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You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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