So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
