This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
