Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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