You're completely useless in the revolution.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
