under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We are two peas in an std pod
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
