Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
