Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize