marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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