what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
