Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
