His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
