508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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