with your own penis?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
