i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
