so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
