Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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