Don't you send me to vm
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
