I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
