I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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