The maid of honor just puked.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
