The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
