Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
