Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
