Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
