The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
where are you?
Hypothermia
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
