He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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