I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
