I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize