If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
