wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
