how can u be prego again
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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