We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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