I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
