it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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