Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
