So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
