So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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