Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
