Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
