Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
