oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize